Someone in my online sober community said this: “remember, it isn’t supposed to be easy. If you truly want a change, then you’re going to have to work for it.”
Funny how you can know something but it takes a while to really let it sink in. I want to lose ten pounds and I know it’s going to take time and effort. I don’t waste time moaning about how hard it is to eat well or exercise, I just do it (or don’t), and move on.
Why do I agonize over booze cravings? Why do I sit in judgment of myself for having them in the first place, like somehow I’m failing just for having wanted it? I don’t do this with sugar. I crave candy and it’s not a big deal. I either give in, or I don’t, but I don’t draw any big conclusions about myself over my behavior. Yet if I give in to booze, another highly addictive substance, somehow that means grand and terrible things about me as a person.
It’s becoming more apparent to me the longer I go through this, how well-programmed I am to be harsh with myself. I know I’m not alone in this.
Today, I’m going to work on responding to the cravings with “no thank you, I don’t want a drink today” and try to view it as an external thing, like I’m turning down a server at a restaurant. If they offered me raw eggplant I would say “no thank you”, maybe suppress a little gag, and move on. No different with booze. 🙂
I’m also going to be okay with the work. I don’t mind the work of exercising, because I know it brings so many good things into my life. In the same way, I am going to try to be aware of the choice to be content with the work of resisting cravings, because going to bed clear-headed and waking up sober might be two of the best feelings in the world!