Weird dreams and a confidence I don’t trust (Day 3)

No night sweats last night, but a handful of odd dreams including being on top of Mt. Everest where there was a brick visitor’s centre built up. I wondered in my dream about the people who hauled those bricks up. It occurs to me just now that maybe Mt. Everest represents sobriety and the visitor’s centre represents the painstaking work of so many sober writers and speakers who have traveled this trail before me. Thanks, sherpas who have trodden this path already! 😀

I was listening to an early Annie Grace podcast this morning where she was interviewing Catherine Gray (who wrote The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober – halfway through and LOOOOVE it). Annie asked Cath if anything felt different about the time her sobriety actually started to stick. Cath said something along the lines of “this time, I took it seriously and treated it like a job. I did the work. I read the blogs. I listened to the podcasts. I learned about addiction. I worked at it.”

It was such nice confirmation of my thoughts yesterday that if this is going to go somewhere for me this time, I need to treat it seriously, especially the first 100 days. I committed to 100 because it felt doable but I really really hope that by 100 I will be thoroughly convinced that booze has no place in my life.

It’s Day 3, and I’ve been here before, and I hesitate to say this feels different (because I’ve said that before too). That’s the part I don’t trust. I don’t want to get comfortable because by Day 3 I’m barely past the trailhead map, barely out of my own driveway, just pushed off the dock (pick your metaphor).

The only difference, like Cath, is that I’m really working at it this time. I’m actively seeking out other sober bloggers on here and staying immersed. I’m reading my Quit Lit. I’m rehearsing scenarios ahead of time and planning what to have on hand to drink. I’m aware, and working.

Day 3 pluses so far:
– woke up less groggy than I have in many days
– I found I had random energy for little tasks that have been bugging me (switching out the recycle bin, for example)
– went on a shopping mission to our local town for a non-standard battery and it was soooo nice to not spend a single second wondering about where to stop for wine and how many to buy so it wouldn’t look like a massive bill on the visa and I wouldn’t be hauling in a case worth in front of my husband and kids
– ran into a friend we only really in the summer and remembered that he and his wife don’t really drink, but yet we always have a great time spending summer days together

Please tag your favorite sober bloggers and help me find more people to read! This part of the journey is a lot of fun for me and I love to read what everyone else is up to at various stages of the game.