There’s layers to this s***, playa – tiramisu

Shout out to any Macklemore fans out there! The rest of you are thinking “what the hell does that title mean?” 😂

I’m still working on reading through Belle Robertson’s Relapse ebook. So far she’s talking about sober tools and how we don’t get to say that one just didn’t work. She’s proposing that sober tools need to be layered.

Hot bath alone not cutting it? Add some meditation.
Still craving after meditation? Try getting into your hidden candy stash.
Addicted voice still whining through the candy? Get your journal and review your whys.
Why’s not cutting through the bulls***? Get your runners on and go walk.

You get the point. Layer it up.

I know that for me, I tend to adopt a f*** it mentality when I’ve gone through a few tools and I’m still craving. News flash – turns out sobriety is a LOT of hard work in the early days and we get tired. Putting effort into it over a couple hours to beat the cravings is exhausting.

Belle’s encouragement to keep adding layers was powerful to me yesterday as it allowed me to try a few more things (one being guilt-free chocolate, yassss) that kept me away from the booze.

The other thing that is a small ray of hope is knowing it’s not going to keep being this hard forever. I’m in the bushwhacking phase of creating new brain trails but they’ll get cleared eventually. I just have to stop relapsing and allowing the jungle to encroach on my hard work.

20 thoughts on “There’s layers to this s***, playa – tiramisu

  1. Like DrGS and leafy both said … I just went to bed. One night I went to bed at 6pm and went to sleep. I was exhausted with always thinking about drinking and trying to stop the cravings … so I slept. Loads of people on here said they did exactly the same thing. It is really tiring the first month so don’t do too much. I promise … you’ll go to bed and then the next day you’ll wake and feel like a million dollars. Layering is a great idea. I still do it now. Keep adding to the tool box … fill it up! Xxx

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      1. Absolutely. Have some tricks up your sleeve for late afternoon. Go bounce on the trampoline with the kids? Or bake some brownies maybe. I’d do have AF wine as it helps me take the edge off those cravings … I know not everyone agrees but it has got me through on many occasions xx

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      2. I have no problem with AF drinks except I don’t actually like the wine! 😂 The beers get me through though. And yeah, taking the kids on a little stroll is helpful, as would be baking. Plus that would cover the need for “sober treats” later!

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      3. I didn’t like a lot of the wines but I have experimented with a couple and found some quite nice ones. They also grow on you, as did the alcohol based stuff originally. Strange how the taste of alcohol is horrible at first but we persevere with it all the same! X

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  2. You are so right it does get easier and the first bit is the hardest so doing that over and over is making life more miserable for you! In the early days sometimes like Leafy I’d just go to bed if nothing else was working so I made it without a drink and read quit lit – the books really helped me change my mindset and once that happened I didn’t want to drink – you can do it and it will be worth it! Xx💞💞

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    1. The challenge for me is that it’s happy hour time that’s my biggest trigger. Generally, if I can make it 4-6 PM without drinking, I am in the clear. I’m thinking of prioritizing a walk with the kiddoes/ten minute yoga session (meditation with them around isn’t really that fruitful) as a mental redirect during that timeframe.

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  3. I love all of these suggestions. I’m sure you will find what works for you. During those first very hard weeks, I would say also don’t underestimate the power of sheer stubbornness to not allow the craving to win. That helped me a lot. That and tons of licorice. And going to bed early. You definitely can do it. 🤗

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  4. Layering is the way to go. I call it making rituals.
    I will share my “morning pages” ritual with you. (Julia Cameron and her book The Artist’s Way started this idea)
    I make a cup of tea, I light a tealight candle, put in a few drops of essential oils into the oil burner, change the old-fashioned bakelite calendar by flipping the day of the week, day of the month, I turn on the lamp, I get out my journal from the shelf, I get my fountain pen and I start writing.

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  5. I think the layers approach is awesome ! It’s true it’s very frustrating when you’re trying hard and the cravings are still there. Sometimes I just had to accept that I had a craving and was feeling shitty, without trying to do anything about it. And miraculously, the craving would then subside once I stopped trying to get rid of it. Weird stuff 🙂 Anyway, after the first 30 to 100 days things really started to change A LOT 🙂 Beginnings are hard 🙂 xxx ❤ Anne

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    1. Oh Anne. Beginnings are SO hard. I just keep telling myself that I NEED some momentum to get out of this. Only once have I gotten past 30 days. I’m going to try just sitting with the craving and telling it “not today, Satan!” 😂 and paraphrase you! 😀

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