Am I sparkling yet? 100 DAYS!

I first started this blog back in June 2020, at which point I was a good year and a half into seriously struggling to control my relationship with alcohol. I had read so much about how you need to give booze-free living at least 100 days to really see how it goes. I had also read so many people talking about how incredible sobriety was and how it brought them back to their real self.

So I thought – I am desperate to sparkle again. I sparkled once (and by sparkle, I just mean that I lived with contentment and optimism, and loving kindness to the world), I can sparkle again, dammit. So I committed to 100 days.

And then I drank, got up, brushed myself off and committed again.

Drank, got up, brushed off, committed.

Repeat ad nauseum (literally, in most cases).

Honestly I started to think 100 days was impossible. Maybe you’re here, where the thought of stringing three digits together is mind-bogglingly impossible. Been there.

But finally, FINALLY, here I am, three digits on my sober tracker. So the big question is, am I sparkling? I would say yes, AND.

Yes, I am sparkling again – AND the sparkle is so much truer and kinder and gentler than I expected. I am slowly developing a loving care and respect for myself that is nothing short of miraculous. I have confidence in myself to do things I wouldn’t have let myself believe were possible before. I’m mothering myself like I should have been, and like I hope I can teach my children to do.

I knew it would be good, and it IS good, but so much more differently good than I could have predicted. Deeper and more meaningful. It’s not just not drinking. That’s almost a small piece of it now. It’s so much more about loving and encouraging myself and showing up every day to take care of me.

A sober friend asked today if I was going to continue. It was almost a surprise, like what? You think there’s any way I would possibly give this new life up? For the sake of WINE? No way in effing hell. What a racket.

And can I just say, what a beautiful about-face that is from the struggles early on. I am, and continue to grow more and more grateful.

If you’re struggling, please love yourself and continue. It’s worth it, and YOU are worth it.

xoxo

14 thoughts on “Am I sparkling yet? 100 DAYS!

  1. Totally fantastic. You have reached the turning point that is so important to keep hold of and remind ourselves of. It is so much more than simply not drinking any more. It’s is about respecting yourself, taking care of yourself and being aware of who you are. I never had that and never did it until 14 months ago. I’m nearly 49. It’s a beautiful discovery. Thanks for the reminder of how beautiful. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations, you sparkling super-star! Such a beautiful & inspiring post 🥰 when I hit 100 days I jumped back on the drinking bandwagon & looking back, I have no idea why! You’ve deffo got the right idea carrying on & I can’t wait to join you in the double digits! Keep on shining! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s