I’ve done day 2 many times, and usually it ends up about the same: no hangover, but I feel very impatient and irritable. I’ve never drank so heavily that I have medically-concerning detox symptoms, mostly just a negative state of mind that mostly affects just me. According to this site, I can expect night sweats tonight. Not so bad!
Since I’ve been at day 2 so many times, I am trying to be extremely mindful of what hasn’t worked, where I go wrong, and what I can do differently. I got out on a walk today with the kids, on a trail not just a sidewalk, and tried to be really intentional about soaking in the feel of it all. I know there’s a link between nature and easing of depression symptoms so I figure it can’t hurt with whatever low space my mental health is in. I took a bunch of supplements this morning (milk thistle to help the ol’ liver, vitamin B which is apparently stripped away by booze, probiotics because the poison in booze annihilates one’s gut bacteria). I’m trying to focus on hydration. I could be doing better from a nutrition standpoint but oh well.
I’m also keenly aware of staying humble. I downloaded a sober counter app that includes quick hit encouragement on a bunch of topics and one I read said something like “there is no recovery without work”. I can’t start thinking I have this in the bag. I don’t. I can’t stop reading, and learning, and re-learning the same thing yet again. That’s a lot of my problem, is letting that sly wine witch speak silky-voiced lies into my subconscious about having been good for a few days, or deserving it, or whatever.
Bottom line for me, always, is that my life is better when I don’t drink. It’s not terrible when I do. I have no horrid rock bottom stories (although plenty of cringe-worthy ones which I’m sure will come up later). But it’s better when I don’t.
Like Lewis David says in his Ten Day Alcohol Detox Plan, sobriety is my safe space. It is comforting, homey, and gives me a sense of well-being and goodness that are out of reach when I drink.
There’s no doubt that everything is better booze-free, so now I just need to get to the bottom of why oh WHY I keep going back to it when I know it’s just a big bottle of despair.
100 Days to Sparkle 